Breaking up with a cable company is hard to do. It was over. Our love had run its course. And I wanted to pull the plug on the one sided relationship. But calling my cable service provider to end my torrid love affair with commercials, bad programming, bundled packages, and rate hikes was like breaking up with a bad and possessive boyfriend he didnt want to let me go Making the call was emotionally painful. The customer service representative a stealthy trained wingman who helps when cable relationships sour cooed in my ear with endless reasons to stay in the costly relationship. Like a repentant lover, he offered me enticing gifts, begging me to stay. Mr. Cable Company apparently desired me and my 6. By trying to break up with this greedy bad boy, I got seriously wooed. Follow these five steps to get cable or satellitefree sooner, without the heartbreak, tears, or hassle. Plus save thousands Get the latest News news with exclusive stories and pictures from Rolling Stone. Mediagazer presents the days mustread media news on a single page. Watch The Last Stand Online Free HD. Funny he didnt show me this much love and affection when I simply paid my cable bill on time. Yeah, Mr. Cable Company was a bit of an ahole. Watch Sympathy For Delicious Online' title='Watch Sympathy For Delicious Online' />Grow a Beautiful Basketful of. Heirloom Tomatoes In Your Garden In this photograph I took during a fall harvest, you will see some of my favorite varieties. At a press conference on Sunday, angry citizens ran off Jason Kessler, the organizer of a disastrous rally for white supremacists, neoNazis and other members of the. NASCAR driver Brad Keselowski has said more than once that his lowerlevel Camping World Truck Series team loses about 1 million annually, but that he keeps doing it. While fighting climate change and providing health care are both just too economically burdensome for America, members of the House believe theres still enough. So why was breaking up with my cable service provider so hard to do After doing a little bit of digging I now see why cable and satellite companies are so keen to keep us subscribed, at any cost. According to CNNMoney, people are canceling their cable packages and switching off their satellite services in droves. With one in eight subscribers cutting cable and satellite TV in 2. So if youre thinking about breaking up with your television company, Id like to share a few of my cable quitting mistakes, triumphs, and gobsmacking surprises. Yes, people, titillating surprisesFollow these five steps to get cable or satellite free sooner, without the heart break, tears, or hassle. Step 1 Read your cable or satellite contract. I wanted to start this Five Stepper with something fun like, Set your satellite dish on fire and watch your savings growBut despite my leanings to all things silly, I have to be a little serious for once. Thats because your cable or satellite contract specifies the rules for when you can quit the service, not the day you decide to take a flamethrower to your dish. In my case, I had to give my provider 3. THIRTY DAYS notice before calling it quits. Sure, signing up was instant I was connected in under 1. But quitting That takes thirty freaking days Maam. Lesson Learned Spare yourself thirty days of expensive grief by reading the fine print first, and then make the plan to cut Mr. Cable Guy loose. Step 2 Track your TV schedule. I dont want you to quit TV cold turkey. Surprised Dont be. Id rather you take a month to track your TV consumption, and then evaluate whether your programming choices are worth the monthly cable fee, or not. Start by downloading my Television Tracker yeah, its free, and list all the shows you watch, scan, and flip through. No cheating, OK Download Television Tracker. Watch The Perfect Sleep Full Movie'>Watch The Perfect Sleep Full Movie. Theres a spot for each member of your family. Be sure to enter the stations you watch, the shows you like, and your time spent watching electronic pixels. The total television family viewing time is in the bottom row. Results might shock you into dumping this habit. Lesson Learned Tracking your TV viewing habits is no different than tracking your moolah in a budget spreadsheet or your exercise in a workout log. Get the facts, know your numbers, and youll make better financial choices. Eating more chocolate is totally up to you thoughStep 3 Find less expensive TV alternatives. On average, American cable and satellite viewers pay 7. Canadians pay around 6. Upgrade to a digital package, add movie channel or two, and youre easily paying 1. Lesson Learned Want to save up to 1,2. Get with the digital program and watch TV online with these 1. Legal Alternatives to Costly Cable. Some are free. Step 4 Be a brave break up artist, make the call. Before calling up your service provider youll need to drink a glass of brave, and brace yourself for free offers, feeble excuses which may sound reasonable at the time, and end that call with a decisive ending. It might help to employ a few conversation combat techniques to cut the agents sales pitch short. Warning These guys have every counter response known to man, woman, and child. So be brave. The conversation with my cable customer service agent went something like this Me Hi, Im Kerry. Heres my account number. Id like to quit my television services with service provider today. Thank you. Stealthy Agent Would you like additional channels How about I bundle your cell phone, landline, and cable into one easy to pay package This reduces your costs by 1. Plus well charge it directly to your credit card so you dont notice the bill when we increase our rates by 5 every year Me Umm, No thank you. Stealthy Agent Upgrading to HDTV is on special this month. And well install a fresh new dish at no charge. Watch Hush Online Facebook'>Watch Hush Online Facebook. Itll only add another hole in your roof. Me Umm, No thank you. Stealthy Agent Youve been a subscriber for years. Thats like a billion dollars weve already billed you. Id like to offer you three months for free by signing up for a ten year contract. No strings attached. Me Umm, No thank you. Id like to quit, thank you. Stealthy Agent Ill cut your bill in half if you stay. Me Sweating Please, no. LET ME GO Stealthy Agent Based on your contract, you have to give 3. Sorry. Me Youre kidding me OK, Day One starts TODAY Stealthy Agent Great Ill call back every day this month to get you to change your mind. CLICKLesson Learned Kidding aside, these guys are ruthless, so you need the endurance of a marathon runner and The Force of a Jedi knight to end the break up call victorious. OK, lying might help too. At one point I resorted to telling the agent that cable was useless to me because I no longer owned a television. Terrible, right The agent was speechless. I was gobsmacked. He let me go. Or so I thought. Step 5 Dont answer the phone. Ever. RIIIIIIIIIIING. Theyre back It was like a scene from the movie Poltergeist. Every time my phone rang it was either my bad former boyfriend Mr. Cable Guy calling or one of his wingmen haunting me. To make matters worse, I fielded calls from several cable companies that week. How they sensed my single status Ill never know. But using their stealth cable guy techniques, they pitched me gifts, offerings, and discount rates to enter into wedded cable bliss with their company. I was being wooed all over again. And I liked it. I hated it. I wanted to be left alone. So I got angry. Very angry. Then I got mean. I told them I was on the National No Call List because I really am and telemarketers or Mr. Cable Guys found in violation of the law can receive financial penalties. CLICKFinal Thoughts. Its been six months since I broke it off with my cable company. Ive saved 4. 00 in cable payments, found more time to read books and catch up with friends, and I no longer care about reality TV. Phew. I hope your cable or satellite break up story involves less pain, sorrow, and offers of free gifts.