Big Gay Musical Creator Fred Caruso Dies of Suicide, Posts Facebook Note. Fred M. Caruso, a writer and producer best known for penning The Big Gay Musical, has died in an apparent suicide, multiple outlets report. He was 4. 1. Caruso wrote a lengthy suicide note that appeared on The Big Gay Musicals Facebook page early Tuesday morning, explaining that he has considered ending things for awhile. For my most of my life I have been absolutely miserable exact sic for when I was creating, he wrote. I have nothing left in me to create. I truly dont think I have any idea what love or happiness is. I have been incredibly lonely and at the same time I hate being around people. Several friends honored Caruso also a producer of the Off Broadway hit Newsical on social media, noting that he was a tortured soul. Fred M. Caruso has left us by his own choice. To all of you who are fans of the movie, know that it was Freds proudest and most loving gift to our community. The messages in the film were from his heart and it changed many lives for the better. As an artist Fred was a tortured soul and ultimately that pain took him from us, friend Rick Crom wrote on Facebook. Cannot process. RIP to my fraternity brother, friend, and man who helped me embrace myself when I first moved to NY, pal Steve OHare posted on Twitter. Watch If Only Full Movie on this page. In his heart wrenching note, Caruso explained that he attempted to seek treatment to no avail. I also want to be clear that I have tried to deal with this. I have moved all over the country doing all different jobs. I had 2 great jobs here in Las Vegas with great people and decent money. Watch Woman On The Run Online Woman On The Run Full Movie Online. Watch The Big Gay Musical Online Full Movie' title='Watch The Big Gay Musical Online Full Movie' />Lowbudget scifi movies may have had their heyday during Roger Cormans rise to Bmovie greatness in the 1950s, but theyre still going strong todayproving. Watch The Big Gay Musical 2009 full movie free online on Tubi in HD Free streaming Comedy, Romance, Drama, Music, Musicals movies with no subscrip. Watch Saturday Night Live online. Stream episodes and clips of Saturday Night Live instantly. Watch The Big Gay Musical Online Full Movie' title='Watch The Big Gay Musical Online Full Movie' />And tho I loved work, I was miserable all the rest of the time. This is not anyones fault or was there anyone or anything that could have prevented this. A portion of Fred Carusos Facebook note. Facebook. He also asked people to direct any donations to the Trevor Project, a confidential suicide hotline for gay or questioning youth, and explained that he is finding peace through his decision to end his life. To all of you that have touched my life I thank you from the bottom of soul, he wrote in the concluding paragraph of his note I grew up on government cheese, food stamps, and public housing. I have produced great theatre, movies two of which i wrote and directed and I traveled all over the world. I regret nothing especially the choice that I am making now, he added. Get the latest Rolling Stone new music news, song and album reviews, free music downloads, artist videos pictures, playlists and more. Get the latest music news, watch video clips from music shows, events, and exclusive performances from your favorite artists. Discover new music on MTV. Luke Plunkett. Luke Plunkett is a Contributing Editor based in Canberra, Australia. He has written a book on cosplay, designed a game about airplanes, and also runs. I have spent the last few days driving all over trying to find a different solution I couldnt. ABC TV Shows, Specials Movies.